[优文翻译]001.真正程序员该是什么样的(How To Be A Real Programmer)

01.Real Programmers don't write specs -- users should consider themselves lucky to get any programs at all and take what they get.
（真正的程序员不循规蹈矩，他们对用户说：拿到你想要的，然后滚蛋，你已经很幸运了！）

02.Real Programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand and even harder to modify.
（真正的程序员不写注释。难写的程序天生难以理解、难以修改。）

03.Real Programmers don't write application programs; they program right down on the bare metal. Application programming is for feebs who can't do systems programming.
（真正的程序员不写应用程序。他们爱白手起家。只有不懂写系统程序的软弱者 才写应用程序。）

04.Real Programmers don't eat quiche. In fact, real programmers don't know how to SPELL quiche. They eat Twinkies, and Szechwan food.
（真正的程序员不吃蛋卷。他们根本不屑也不懂拼“quiche（蛋卷）”这个词。他们吃twinkies和四川菜。注：twinkies可能是某种用两片面包片夹着的食物。）

05.Real Programmers only write specs for languages that might run on future hardware. Noboby trusts them to write specs for anything homo sapiens will ever be able to fit on a single planet.
（真正的程序员只为未来机器上用的语言写标准。鬼才会相信有哪个星球会用他们的标准。）

06.Real Programmers never program in COBOL, money is no object.
（真正的程序员不用cobol编程，金钱如粪土。 注：不知所云！）

07.Real Programmers never right justify text that will be read on a fixed-character-width medium.
（真正的程序员将文本写得错落有致。）

08.Real Programmers wear hiking boots only when it's much too cold to wear sandals. When it's only too cold, they wear socks with their sandals.
（真正的程序员爱穿凉鞋，就算天气变冷，他们也只是再穿上袜子而已。只有寒风彻骨时，他们才会换上跑鞋。）

09.Real Programmers don't think that they should get paid at all for their work, but they know that they're worth every penny that they do make.
（真正的程序员并不奢求取得每一分该得的钱，但任何拿到手的钱都问心无愧。）

10.Real Programmers log in first thing in the morning, last thing before they go to sleep, and stay logged in for lots of time in between.
（真正的程序员每天只需记录起床后的第一件事和睡觉前的最后一件事，之间的一切照套模板即可。）

11.Real programmers don't draw flowcharts. Flowcharts are after all, the illerate's form. of documentation.
（真正的程序员不画流程图。流程图是文盲写的文档。）

12.Real Programmers don't use Macs. Computers which draw cute little pictures.
（真正的程序员不用MAC机。能画可爱的卡通的电脑是给胆小鬼用的。）

13.Real Programmers don't read manuals. Reliance on a reference is the hallmark of a novice and a coward.
（真正的程序员不看使用指南。只有初学者和胆小鬼会百分百相信手册。）

14.Real Programmers don't write in COBOL. COBOL is for gum chewing twits who maintain ancient payroll programs.
（真正的程序员不用cobol。cobol只能用来维护远古的工资程序。）

15.Real Programmers don't write in FORTRAN. FORTRAN is for wimpy engineers who wear white socks. The get excited over finite state analysis and nuclear reactor simulations.
（真正的程序员不写fortran程序。fortran是让畏缩的白领工程师用的。 那些人只钟情于有限的状态分析和核反应堆模拟。）

16.Real Programmers don't write in Modula-2. Modula-2 is for insecure analretentives who can't choose between Pascal and COBOL.
（真正的程序员不用modula-2编程。modula-2集合了pascal和cobol的缺点。）

17.Real Programmers don't write in APL, unless the whole program can be written on one line.
（真正的程序员不写apl程序，除非他能在一行内把一个程序写完。）

18.Real Programmers don't write in Lisp. Only effeminate programmers use more parentheses than actual code.
（真正的程序员不用lisp编程。只有女人气的程序员才会用的括号比代码还多。）

19.For compulsive neurotics who were prematurely toilet trained. They wear neckties and carefully line up sharp pencils on an otherwise clear desk.
（真正的程序员鄙视结构化编程。结构化编程是让过早被训练怎样上厕所的强迫性精神病患者用的。那些人在工作前要打好领带，然后小心翼翼地在另一张书桌上削铅笔。）

20.Real Programmers scorn floating point arithmetic.The decimal point was invented for pansy bedwetters who are unable to think big.
（真正的程序员鄙视浮点运算。十进制是为蠢人而发明的。）

21.Real Programmers know every nuance of every instruction and use them all in every Real Program. Some candyass architectures won't allow EXECUTE instructions to address another EXECUTE instruction as the target instruction. Real Programmers despise petty restrictions.
（真正的程序员深谙指令之间的细微差别，而且非在写的每一个程序中都体现出来不可。有些编译器不允许EXECUTE指令象对目标指令那样对另一个EXECUTE指令寻址。真正的程序员对这种限制熟记于心。）

22.Real Programmers Don't use PL/I. PL/I is for insecure momma's boys who can't choose between Cobol and Fortran.
（真正的程序员不用PL/I。PL/I是让偎依在妈妈身边的小男孩在无法从cobol和pascal中选择时用的。）

23.Real Programmers don't like the team programming concept. Unless, of course, they are the Chief Programmer.
（能摆平那些有心智缺陷的人，比如那些资深的策划者（他们很爱“教导”程序员们）。）

24.Real programmers ignore schedules.
（真正的程序员不按日程表办事。）

25.Real Programmers don't bring brown bag lunches to work. If the vending machine sells it, they eat it. If the vending machine doesn't sell it, they don't eat it.
（真正的程序员不带午餐上班。有得吃就吃，没得吃就饿着。）

26.Real Programmers think better when playing Adventure or Rogue.
（真正的程序员在冒险和滋事时脑子最聪明。）

27.Real Programmers use C since it's the easiest language to spell.
（真正的程序员用C，因为C是最容易拼的语言，只有一个字母。）

28.Real Programmers don't use symbolic debuggers, who needs symbols.
（真正的程序员不用符号化的调试器，因为它竟需要符号。）

29.Real Programmers only curse at inanimate objects.
（真正的程序员只诅咒死气沉沉的东西。）

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转载自【宝宝巴士SuperDo团队】 原文链接: http://www.cnblogs.com/superdo/p/4542247.html